Guanajuato, Mexico -- Those Crazy Tourists

The following questions are real. The names have been changed to protect the Stupid:

Q1. We are traveling to SMA this weekend for five days and I'm a little bit nervous about traveling in Mexico; I've never been this far inland, normally just border cities because I'm from South Texas... how safe is it in SMA and are there any places to avoid?

A1. This person has visited Mexican/Texas border towns and has questions about the safety of San Miguel de Allende. One of Texas/Mexico's border towns, La Ciudad Juarez, is the most dangerous city in the world and she wants to know about SMA's safety?

Q2. Also, what is best as far as money in Mexico?

A2. They are called PESOS.

Q3. What to wear out to dinner?

A3. Clothes

Q4. What is appropriate to wear to a "nice" restaurant?

A4. See Q3 and A3

Q5. What would be an example of a nice restaurant?

A5. One that serves food.

Q6. What about for men?

A6. What the hell does this mean, anyway?

And so the tourists keep coming and coming and coming.