Guanajuato, Mex - All Good Things

I wrote in one of my books some sound advice. It was advice I had to learn the hard way. The advice went something like this: If you see something on a store shelf in Guanajuato that you think you might use one day, BUY IT!

The reason is, is that if you don't you will never again in your lifetime see that item, or at least you won't see it for a very, very long time.

When we moved to Guanajuato I left behind in the States my bath brush. You know what I mean. The sponge on the end of a long handle that makes showering a lot easier especially for handicapped people among which I count myself. It is dangerous to wash my feet without one. With one, I can wash my lower legs and feet without risking a fall in the shower.

We saw a bath brush a month or two after moving here. But, instead of buying it right then, I said to the wife, "I will have to come back and get one..." Well, that was almost seven years ago.

Literally, I have been looking for one ever since. We would describe a bath brush to our Mexican friends and you would swear we were describing something alien from the Alpha Centauri Star System to them. They had never heard of such a thing, according to most of them.

Today one showed up in the store and we snatched it. It is just like I had in the States and I cannot wait to us it. Almost seven long years! Can you fathom it? I suppose it's true: "All good things come to those who wait."

I wonder if I should have bought two or more?


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Guanajuato, Mex -- It's Impossible

In a not-to-long-ago blog I mentioned the joys (not) of trying to watch Mexican television in Guanajuato. Unless you have cable or satellite, it is virtually impossible to watch TV without consistent problems.

The current problem is channel 12. This channel has been a problem for years and not just for us (I make inquiries). This channel, and none of the others, does pretty much what it wants when it wants. Actually I should be fairer in my judgment of the channel. It has to be the Mexicans who run the thing that do pretty much what they want when they want.

Remember, "preventative maintenance" is generally NOT a Mexican forte. I can easily imagine how the workers, those responsible for maintaining the channel's broadcasting integrity, may not show up for work, sleep on the job, wonders what job they are suppose to do (their uncle hired them), and/or are too busy engaging in any number of nefarious activities while on the job they are suppose to be performing. I mean this most sincerely, this is seems to be a way of life here.

Anyway...

Two years ago, channel 12 went off the air. It took the better part of the year to come back on. I made inquires. No one knew anything.

A year ago, for several months, the channel just "rolled." I made inquiries. No one knew anything.

(No one ever knows anything.)

A week to ten days ago, channel 12 began sending secret coded messages. What I mean is that the picture is visible but the sound, audio, cuts out with a predictable sequence each time. It sounds like Morse Code is being sent. It is as though every other syllable of a line of dialogue is blanked out. Then it runs normally for about a quarter of a minute and starts again.

This is, I am sure, meant to torture me but I have not been able to confirm this.

Also, I've yet to make inquires but will and will blog my investigation when I am able.

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ROCKET SPANISH

Click On This to Reach The ROCKET SPANISH Website!

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Who Else Wants to Learn to Speak Spanish Confidently and Naturally In Less Than 8 Weeks??...AND take all the frustration, difficulty and headache out of YOUR practice time with this EXPLOSIVE interactive 'learn Spanish' package!

Guanajuato, Mex -- Winds of Change

The immigration procedures for Mexico are changing. There's a lot of confusion out there as to what is going to happen. I have an "insider" friend who said not even the officials at the immigration office knows what to expect or is going on. Figures.

Here is an article that sounds good but in the end, who really knows?

Mexico Simplifies Visa Procedures.

If there's anything I have learned in living in this country for so many years, it is that nothing is ever as it seems and the Twilight Zone Effect will also come into effect.

Moral: You have to just wait and see.

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Guanajauato, Mex -- The Gas Truck

In Guanajuato, and in each Mexico town we've toured, businesses and homes have to get their gas via these gigantic truck that can bring you tanks (ballistic missiles) of gas or with hoses to fill up your stationary roof tanks (bombs).

In all of the towns we've been to in Mexico these trucks will prowl the streets playing this god-awful ditty through speakers on top of the cab of the trucks. It is not a song but a ditty lasting about 5 measures and on this endless feedback loop where it repeats, well, endlessly.

My first comment is just how does the truck driver keep from going totally insane from this ear-splitting music that is blasted so loudly that it could surely hurt Superman? I mean, how does this driver keep from jumping from his truck in a ditty-driven, murderous rage and committing mass murder? I am speechless to come up with an answer.

My second comment is that no matter the gas company, they all do this and do so at ungodly early hours....Like when the wife and I are still in bed. And, the thing is, though the obvious reason for playing the cacophonous roar is to tell everyone and everything in the street through which they are driving that "the gas man cometh," NO ONE EVER IS SEEN RUNNING OUT OF THEIR STORE OR HOME FLAGGING DOWN THE GAS GUY!

We have made a point to watch and note in almost all the cities we've seen this happening and no one ever comes rushing out all breathless with tingly anticipation that they've conquered the gas problem.

The way the picture supposedly plays out is that the poor, hapless Mexican waits like a hunter in a duck blind for the prey to come flying by and BOOM, the hunter prevails by snagging a goose.

But in a city where phones, landlines or cellular are plentiful, everyone dials a number for gas and they come, with the brain-tumor-inducing music blaring, and nothing at all makes sense.

The third comment is my wife has got to be the only human being who has ever flagged down these monster trucks from the front porch of our house.

We needed gas and right before we dialed the number we heard the truck bellowing up the mountain side. I wondered then and am still wondering just what went through the driver's head to actually have an honest-to-God human being standing in front of a house flagging him down for gas? Certainly it had never happened.

Since then the two gas company's still come up and down our street, music blasting as loud as ever, and when they pass our house I can hear them slow down a bit as though waiting to see if someone will pop out and hail them.

This country!!

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ROCKET SPANISH

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Guanajauato, Mexico -- Gringolandians Consequences

So entrenched is the delusion, so ingrained is the fantasy, so cemented is the idea that moving to Mexico is like moving to heaven itself that Gringos will actually sign away their lives to Mexicans who tell them anything because the Gringo will believe it.

Would you, in buying a house in the States, actually sign a piece of paper leaving the house to your attorney in the event of your death and give the attorney the power of attorney over you in the event of a terminal illness?

And, on top of that would you do this entirely on the word of the suspect lawyer whose language you could not speak, read, or write?

Well....read this:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/comadresdemexico/message/24773


Hi, I bought a house six years ago, it was in a bank trust but I was
told I could get it into private ownership at the closing. The closing
came and I was told it was still in the trust and I could buy it that
way or forget it. I bought it in the trust. My lawyer told me we
could get it out of the trust no problem. I believed him. Three years
later it was still in the trust although I had paid the lawyer and he
and his staff assured me they had done the work. I had to sell the
house for a personal reason. I had a different lawyer handle it and he
did get it out of the trust for the new buyer at my expense. He
explained to me that the old lawyer had had me sign a paper saying I
was leaving the house to him at my death. I had also given him the
power to handle my living will needs, namely, no
extreme measures! Duh, do not do it this way! I assume that the house
is privately owned now and that the trust is really gone, but I do not
actually know.

Julie Mignard

If this does not have you shaking your head, maybe this will: This has been going on for years. One of the very doable things that seems to escape the Anglo-Saxon mind is to learn Spanish at home, in the States, long before moving to Mexico and ending up signing your life away to some schmuck you don't know and whose language you cannot comprehend.

In all seriousness, it just kills me to read these accounts when these Gringolandians could learn Spanish the way Mexicans learn English. They are so highly motivated to learn English that they use simple television programs, the internet, comic books, children's stories to learn English. They don't have money to take private tutoring or classes and yet they become fluent in English. Americans and Canadians have the money (and it is not THAT expensive) to learn Spanish.

It is a shame, no, an indictment that Gringos will step one foot over the border into Mexico and can't tell a barber how to cut their hair, a doctor what's wrong with them, or talk to a Mexican neighbor (God forbid they should ever like next to a Mexican) about her martial problems.

It is so doable.

###

ROCKET SPANISH

FREE 6-Day Spanish Course!

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Learn Spanish Like A ROCKET With Rocket Spanish!...
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---

ADDITIONAL PROGRAMS

Learn to Speak, Read & Write a New Language!

Synergy Spanish - How To Turn 138 Spanish Words Into Effective Spanish Communication.

Learn How To Speak Spanish - A 31-Day Course That Shows You How To Communicate In Spanish Using Thousands Of Spanish Words You Already Know.

Fsi Spanish Level 1, 2, 3, And 4 - Quickly And Easily Master Begginer To Advanced Spanish. Instant Download Just $97.

Spanish Language Speed Learning Course - Speak Spanish Confidently In 12 Days Or Less Is The Best Training Material For You, As You Will Be Held By The Hand Each Step.

Guanajuato, Mex - TMO Report

TMO is an acronym for Typical Mexican Operation

Going to the Mega Superstore is an object lesson in TMO. You can see all manner of stuff that will give you a grand idea of what it is going to be like living in Guanajuato. It is a classroom in Mexican culture.

Today I walked through the store looking for t he "grazers." These are Mexican who believe that the supermarket is one huge buffet, a free buffet. I do not believe they ever buy anything. They walk through the place helping themselves to anything they want to try out before buying. Whether it is food in a box, food , sitting in a serving pan in a deli, or in a package, they help themselves to whatever very liberally, I might add. They will even drink pop and drinkable yogurt. (Did I say they never pay for it?)

In other parts of the civilized world, that is called SHOPLIFTING. But, I digress.

We were too early to catch the "grazers" testing out the food. Damn!

We did see that Kraft Mac and Cheese, Velveeta Mac and Cheese, and Jiff Peanut Butter was gone. This is normal.

The way "stocking the shelves" works in a Mexican Supermarket is a salient example of the TMO principle.

The manager will always order the same amount of replacement items that he was told to do when he was hired. If a procedure manual exists, and that is highly unlikely, the re-order amount will always, with never an exception, be the same simply because that is how it has always been done.

For example, when the store first opened there could be 24 jars of Jiff Peanut Butter on the shelf. That is what was ordered when the store made its premier opening. From that point until today, no more than 24 jars of Jiff have ever been ordered when it was replacement time. They will wait until the very last jar is sold, then they will order just 24 jars of Jiff.

It will never matter that those 24 jars of Jiff are sold out almost immediately. The collective lot of store employees will never in a million years think to order more than just 24 jars of Jiff at a time. And they will always wait until the shelf is completely wiped out of the product.

The Kraft Mac and Cheese takes months to arrive. I mean that. It took seven months for a restocking of our favorite mac and cheese product to occur. When it finally arrived, it sold out in a week and there is no more to be had. We will have to wait more than a half of a year to get more.

Now....sales and sales fliers...

The wife saw a particular bran of butter in the store's flier that was on sale. It was two for the price of one. When she was in the checkout the girlie rang it up and it came up on the computer screen as the normal price. When the wife confronted the chick she merely shrugged her shoulders.

Shrugging of the shoulders is also a Typical Mexican Operation.

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Resources

1. THE PLAIN TRUTH ABOUT LIVING IN MEXICO
2. A WALK THROUGH MEXICO'S CROWN JEWEL - A Guanajuato Travelogue
3. ROCKET SPANISH
4. LEARNING SPANISH LIKE CRAZY

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Guanajuato, Mexico - House Hunting

If you are really considering moving to the city of Guanajuato, you will need to engage in the #1 Survival Factor and that is finding a place to live.

Because American Gringolandians coming to start their expatriation experiment tend to think of Mexico as just another American state (I am not kidding either.), they think in terms of how an American would find a place to live. They want to know which rental-finding service to use.

You are not going to find that in Guanajuato. No matter how hard you look you are not going to find it and you might as well get it our of your mind long before you step a foot over the border that Mexico is not like America. Mexico is not set up like America and no amount of foot stomping is going to change how it is.

Some real estate agencies, both Mexican and American run, have rentals. But the #2 Survival Factor will come into play when you walk into any of these offices: The Rip Off Factor.

Here is the problem: No matter how much you take offense at this Inconvenient Truth, if you are not Spanish and Culturally fluent, the chances of you getting "taken," "ripped off," "scammed," or "gouged" rises to the power of infinity and beyond.

You need a representative. You need someone who is linguistically and culturally fluent and who is objective. You need someone who can spot a scam from a mile away.

Martha Roberts is such a person.

We've known this woman for years and though she charges for her excellent services (as she should), she can spot a flimflam and make sure you do not get ripped off.

Check out her web site. Her contact info is on this site.

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ROCKET SPANISH

Click On This Link Reach The ROCKET SPANISH Website!

Learn Spanish Like A ROCKET With Rocket Spanish!...
Who Else Wants to Learn to Speak Spanish Confidently and Naturally In Less Than 8 Weeks??...AND take all the frustration, difficulty and headache out of YOUR practice time with this EXPLOSIVE interactive 'learn Spanish' package!

Guanajuato, Mexico - Working the Culture #7

One of the reasons Gringolandians brand me The Most Hated Gringo in the World is that they never live in the culture they profess to love and adore. When they read what I've written, and continue to write, they cannot judge whether or not what I write is true or not. They NEVER live in the Mexican culture. They live in a delusional bubble, a dream-state, a cushion, an enclave, or Gringolandia. From within their faked existences they say they've never experienced that which I write therefore what I write is a lie.

Great logic, don't you think Mr. Bill?

Consequently, they live in a perpetual Honeymoon with Mexico which is, by the way, the first stage of cultural shock.

When the Gringo relocates to Mexico the normal or natural progression of emotions should be a spectrum such as profound admiration to rejection, isolation to assimilation. Taken as a normal and natural progression, this forms the stages of Culture Shock.


HONEYMOON

I believe the Gringolandians never leave this stage. Since they live and breathe in a Gringo Bubble, exposed to only Gringolandians on any level or depth, they never have sufficient enough exposure to the host country's inhabitants to leave the Honeymoon stage.

Their false perception of the differences in Mexico will be embraced with excitement and fascination.

Have you ever wondered why so much of the screed on Life in Mexico is so Ivory Tower that you can't read it for the blinding brilliance? And why are Americans here so gullible they fail to see the culture’s defects. Everything, no matter how objectionable, is "a beautiful native custom" and all Mexicans "are a beautiful people"..

This false or bubbled perception should last mere weeks but since they live in a Gringolandia where they continue to live in what is essentially a miniature America--Gringolandia--they never leave, as they should, the Honeymoon stage.

A true expat experience is one in which the individual eventually leaves the Honeymoon or Fakepat stage and begins to encounter the difficulties of language, housing, finding new friends, from living in another country.


REJECTION

This very normal next step or stage in Culture Shock is marked by what could be described as excessive, over-the-top criticism, complaining, resentment, and even anger: "What have I done by moving to this @&$^% country?"

The Expat, as opposed to the Fakepat, will eventually encounter difficulties in understanding and coping with the vast differences that exist between Mexico and America. When you encounter a so-called expat who claims to have never encountered any difficulties in the new culture then you can know with a 100% certainty that you are talking to a Fakepat who lives in a Gringolandia.

The Rejection period can be triggered by the realization that, as an outsider in a new culture, language or misunderstandings of cultural cues can often make the simplest task seem like a daunting challenge. Furthermore, because the high expectations set during the Honeymoon Period appear much farther out of reach, the individual feels disillusioned. (Mary Ann Santoro Bellini, Ph.D.; September 30th, 2005)

ISOLATION

This is the "bubble pops" stage. A profound letdown is experienced. Your Honeymoon gets a healthy dose of reality. You become hyper-critical of almost everything in the new culture and you make continue references to home. You begin to forget why you left America in the first place and begin to hyper-inflate the things about America. The things you hated and wanted to leave behind suddenly don't seem as bad or are forgotten.

Symptoms exhibited during this period include anxiety, sadness, homesickness, and anger. These feelings manifest themselves in changes in behavior: inappropriate anger over slight delays and minor frustrations, changes in sleep patterns, compulsive eating and/or drinking, irritability, poor concentration, and unexplainable crying. The stage of Rejection and Regression is variable in length but can last up to 6-8 weeks. (Mary Ann Santoro Bellini, Ph.D.; September 30th, 2005)

ASSIMILATION

Eventually the true expat begins to employ language skills to find the resources to cope with the vast differences in culture. When the expat has put in the necessary work to learn Spanish, then he or she can begin to ask the question that seems to cure all culture ills: "Why?"

When the expat begins to be able to ask Mexicans about the what formerly felt as impossible obstacles within the culture, then coping becomes automatic.

Gringolandians will tell me that "all my friends are Mexicans." This is Fakepat speak that means all their friends are bilingual Mexicans. Most Gringolandians cannot speak enough Spanish to go to the doctor. Therefore they are dependent upon bilingual Mexicans to give them a limited perspective. If they want to live in the culture then they need to be able to interface with Mexicans from all the socio-economic spectrum and not just a minority of bilingual Mexicans.

One is true expatriatism and the other is not.

One results in cultural assimilation while the other results in perpetuating the Gringolandia induced Honeymoon Stage.

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Resources

1. THE PLAIN TRUTH ABOUT LIVING IN MEXICO
2. A WALK THROUGH MEXICO'S CROWN JEWEL - A Guanajuato Travelogue
3. ROCKET SPANISH
4. LEARNING SPANISH LIKE CRAZY

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Guanajuato, Mexico - Tunnels Aren't Safe

Check out NBC's Dateline Report on San Miguel de Allende Kidnappings--CLICK HERE

***

Remember that if you read on website selling real estate (Right, Mr. Bill?), or travel to Mexico services, that it is safer here than any place on Earth, that you should see red flags!

I have received numerous emails from wannabe tourists and expats if they can park their cars in the Guanajuato tunnels? My first impression is always, "why would you want to," but I resist saying that.

In the Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 issue of El Correo, Ivan Rodriguez reports:

"Between 4 and 8 vehicles are stolen every week in whole or in part only in the downtown tunnels in Guanajuato... The underground street has become one of the most insecure of the capital." -- Source

Witnesses to this problem tell of how though there are security police and cameras in the tunnels they are useless.

So, there's our answer. Park in the tunnels at your own risk!

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Resources

1. THE PLAIN TRUTH ABOUT LIVING IN MEXICO
2. A WALK THROUGH MEXICO'S CROWN JEWEL - A Guanajuato Travelogue
3. ROCKET SPANISH
4. LEARNING SPANISH LIKE CRAZY

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Guanajuato, Mexico - Talking For a Tip

"...the Careys are questioning the safety of tourists in Mexico and warning others who plan to venture there." -- Vacation from Hell

***

One year we were on a traveling jag. We went everywhere and then some. We rolled into a Mexican town called Aguascalientes and had a two hour layover before making our connection to our next destination.

I was sitting outside watching the buses coming and going and the people. I get some of the greatest blog fodder from people watching.

A young Mexican man walked up and sat beside me and began talking. He wanted to know all sort of things like where I was from, if I liked living in Mexico, what I did for a living, etc... We talked for an hour, at least, until my bus was ready.

When I stood to board my bus the young man thanked me very much and then held out his hand and said, "That will be $25.00 dollars."

He asked for dollars and not pesos.

When I asked him what for, in my dramatic, heightened tone of voice, he said it was for being nice to me and chatting. That was his fee for talking to me.

Well, I told him to get lost, got on my bus, and watched him through the bus window staring daggers at me. I am sure he is hating me to the grave.

Yesterday, the wife and I went downtown to do some business. When we walked up from one of the tunnels, we were set upon by a pair of ten years olds who in accented yet perfect English asked if they could tell us a story. I assumed it was to practice their English. We used to see this a lot. The kids would ask you if you would speak to them in English for practice. I assumed this was the case.

Luckily I asked her why to which she responded, "After I tell you the story you can pay me a nice tip."

After I sent her packing I said to my wife, "They learn young, don't they."

Gringo tourists love this sort of thing. I see the Gringos constantly forking over the dough to these hucksters. They squeal with such practiced delight and merriment over the kids doing this. The younger the better.

But, what's wrong with this picture?

First, this is what the American and other tourists expect when coming to Mexico. They want the locals to entertain them and the younger the shyster the funnier they seem to the Gringo. This huckstering is not what the educated Mexican trying to pull their country out of the
Third-World-Country mire wants to be thought of. And yet, this is what a lot of Mexican children are taught to do.

Our friend, Erica, told us that she, her cousins, and most of her peers were taught from a very early age that the Americans, the Gringos, are their ATM's, the banks, their fountain of wealth. They were taught how to scam the Gringos from as young as she could remember.

It is a lesson in how to get by, barely by, with scamming the Americans when they come as tourists. Instead of working hard at a job, they are taught it is easier to beg. Some, children as well as adults, will lie to your face with how a member of their family died and they can't afford to bury them. A favorite is when an adult male will put on an Academy Award winning performance, tears and all, telling how his wife lost their baby and they can't get the body back from the police for burial until they pay a fee.

Then there are those who will talk to you then try and get your money from you for the effort.

It teaches how Americans are an easy mark and why should they have to work hard when it is so easy to scam the stupid Gringos.

Secondly, Gringos paying out money for such shysterism perpetuates the idea that the Gringos exist to take care of the Mexican. This is disgusting beyond measure. It fosters the myth that Americans, without exception, are fabulously wealthy and are there for the Mexican to take for a ride.

I have asked Mexicans who beg money from me why they think I have money and why they think I have money to give to them. Without exception their answer has been because I am a Gringo.

I got into an hour-long discussion with a group of youths who told me they were taught that because Americans, all of us, are wealthy that it is not wrong to cheat us, steal from us, rob us, or scam us. If we were poor, it would be wrong. Since we are all rich beyond description, it is ok.

(There is also the President Polk and Texas incident to which they will allude.)

I have a good friend at our church who is 45 years old, married, and has three children. The man works his tail off to put his kids through school, including college, and does all the work on his home. He told me he's never had to rent a house because he has always worked hard to be able to buy a home. He has just now purchased a pair of computers and internet service for his kid's school work and all from HARD WORK!

Think of the example to his children. They have learn delayed gratification, to work hard, that nothing comes very easy in life, and that if you want something in life go out there and work for it.

I just love that!

Resources

1. THE PLAIN TRUTH ABOUT LIVING IN MEXICO
2. A WALK THROUGH MEXICO'S CROWN JEWEL - A Guanajuato Travelogue
3. ROCKET SPANISH
4. LEARNING SPANISH LIKE CRAZY

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Guanajuato, Mexico - The Most Hated Gringo in the World #35

Another episode of The Most Hated Gringo in the World!

I am hated among Gringolandians because I happen to take exception to Gringolandians unbelievable arrogance when they come to visit as a tourist from the Great Gringolandia, America, or come to live here.

Here is a prime example:

Trip Advisor-Puerto Vallarta Forum --

5. Re: pesos or US dollars

Jan 12, 2010, 2:01 AM

"just got back from PV on Sat. Probably tipped about $180 in a week. Tip jars were conspicously placed on the bar and contained 95% USD. I didn't observe much tipping at all. If your from the US and tip, use dollars. The recipients can spend them as readily as we can down there. Be proud of your US heritage and don't let our lesser tipping neighbors change our style. These bartenders, maids, cooks, bellhops make very little per day. Our tips help to brighten their life. It's part of our US culture. If it's not part of yours, don't make us out as bad guys!"

First of all, I so despise having to read prose by Americans in which they neglect to include, as if being trendy or cute, a subject of the sentence.

Secondly: I was talking to a Mexican friend who said that the Americans who come as tourists or even expats never seem to get that they don't "get it." They don't "get that they need to get it and never get it." I couldn't agree more.

"The recipients can spend them as readily as we can down there." -- In most of the small stores and markets where locals go to shop, they cannot use dollars. Vendors and store owners want pesos since that IS the national currency. Using dollars is not as easy as this poster suggests.

In fact, "Why would anyone use USD outside of the states?? Last time I checked it was not the world's offical currancy." --Trip Advisor poster

In addition, the local will have to go and have the dollars exchanged into pesos having to pay a fee to do the exchange. This reduces the amount of the tip. Some banks in the area no longer are taking dollars. This leaves the higher fee at the exchange kiosks.

Furthermore, Americans seem to be confused when it comes to money exchanges. It is perhaps the vast lack of international experience. Perhaps it is just being stupid. Sorry. What else can it be? Why would you try and spend dollars in a foreign country? Many Americans act like Mexico is just another American southern state. And, I am being charitable in suggesting that.

A friend of mine in PV said Americans will not change their dollars into pesos because they are lazy. They don't want to stand in a line to make the exchange and often say, "Mexicans should take dollars if I spend the money and effort to come here."

It is the arrogance of "entitlement" and nothing else.

Another issue this entitled Gringo Cultural Imperialist refuses to take into consideration when saying,

"Be proud of your US heritage and don't let our lesser tipping neighbors change our style.",

is that Mexican tourist tend NOT to vacation in Vallarta because of the plethora of Cultural Imperialists and their U.S. heritage pontificating up and down the streets. They tend to go elsewhere other than American style resorts.

Could this be, and it is, escaping the narrow nationalistic mind of this poster? The reason there were more dollars than pesos in the tip jar is that there were more ignorant American tourists, refusing to change their dollars into pesos, visiting the place than Mexicans?

This all leads me to exclaim, "Gag me with a spoon!!"

Resources

1. THE PLAIN TRUTH ABOUT LIVING IN MEXICO
2. A WALK THROUGH MEXICO'S CROWN JEWEL - A Guanajuato Travelogue
3. ROCKET SPANISH
4. LEARNING SPANISH LIKE CRAZY

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Learning Spanish Part Two - Some Solutions

"Foreign language learning is not something that happens overnight; it takes a commitment of time and money. U.S. schools compound the problem by waiting too long to start foreign language instruction. According to ACTFL Professional Programs Director Elvira Swender, U.S. students often start learning foreign languages at puberty, "an age at which their brains are least receptive to language learning." Swender also notes the relative unimportance that schools assign to languages. "It doesn't occur to anyone that we should wait to teach students math," she points out, "so why do we wait with foreign languages?"

Why has America always had this love-hate relationship with learning a second language? What is it that Americans seem to fear in the acquisition of a second language-a fear so great that they will resort to English Only legislative efforts to assure that their children are not brutalized by the introduction of a foreign language in their schools.

"Why pass laws to repress "bilingualism," a resource that competitors are trying to conserve and exploit?" ("...brutalize our schools with their language..."-Frosty Wooldridge, an anti-Mexican xenophobe and Minuteman Project supporter)

There is a real and unacknowledged fear of foreigners in the American culture. I see this all the time in the people I talk to. I am a syndicated columnist and book author who is constantly deluged with readers' comments--some not so nice. I get a sense from the hundreds of column readers' responses I receive that not only is Xenoglossophobia (The Fear of Foreign Languages) a real problem but Xenophobia in general is alive and well in America.

At the writing of this story, the Minuteman Project movement is growing by leaps and bounds. This will, in my view, cause an even large isolationism from Mexico. Maybe America will even go back to the days when learning a foreign language will be outlawed or at least dropped from every school's curriculum all together. Anything is possible. Stranger things have happened.

In Europe, there is a bilingual rate of about 52% compared to America's 9% rate. The reason for this is, in Europe, one has to learn foreign languages just to survive. Where I live, in Guanajuato, Mexico, I constantly meet Europeans who are fluent, to some degree, in multiple languages. They are multilingual because they live in such close proximity to other countries that have a language different than their own.

If Nebraska had one language and Kansas another, there would be many Nebraskans and Kansans who would speak one another's languages. Their close proximity would necessitate the learning of one another's languages.

Americans simply have never had to learn another language, unlike their European counterparts. Language inability deprives one of the opportunities to learn of another culture. That is the breeding ground for ignorance and fear-Xenoglossophia. Nor do American school systems start teaching other languages to children in the very earliest years of their formal education, as do their European cousins. One, however, should not underestimate the issue of need. Americans have simply never had to learn another language to conduct their affairs in life, as have other citizens of the world.

NEXT: Why Acquire a Second Language?

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Learning Spanish Part One - The Problems and Solutions

It is not an exaggeration to declare that the United States of America could be the only country in the world where one can graduate from high school and even college without taking one course of foreign language study. Of those few schools which still require their students to take a foreign language to graduate, the one or two years of foreign language study is woefully inadequate for developing a high degree of spoken fluency. As America crossed into the 21st century, a bilingual rate of less than 9% prevailed. That rate is still true in 2005.

As early as 1979, a Presidential Commission on Foreign Languages revealed that,

"American's incompetence in foreign language is nothing short of scandalous..."

Some 26 years later, that "scandal" is still raging in America.

Second language acquisition in the public school system has always suffered from the prevailing political and educational ideology of the times. During the first 100 years of America's history, America was a multilingual society-a fact almost too hard to believe in light of today's bilingual deficit. Although xenophobic tendencies were always hiding in a bush somewhere ready to jump out, there were no legislative efforts to control the teaching and practice of foreign language education.

In the infancy of our country, immigrants, and their offspring managed to maintain their native tongue while learning English. Americans and those with English as their first language hired private tutors to learn a foreign language. Many Americans could make this effort today but do not. To develop proficiency in a foreign language was seen by our early fellow-Americans as a valuable skill and indicative of an educated person. Sadly, this is not so in modern times.

In the 1800's, due to the large immigrant influx into the United States, private foreign language study began to be replaced by public schools in order to meet the needs of the immigrant groups.

By the beginning of the 1900´s, there was a major effort to establish foreign language instruction in all levels of public education and to establish standards governing these programs. This effort, an amazing and outstanding thing considering modern "English Only" movements in America, was to be sadly short-circuited.

By the beginning of the 20th century, a high level of xenophobia was reigning in America. World War I was primarily responsible for outlawing the speaking of any language other than English. Foreign language newspapers and foreign language programs in the public schools were abolished.

A new nationalism-a kind of populism-emerged for the sake of national unity. Foreign language instruction was irrationally seen as a threat to national unity--a condition not unlike what we are seeing in 2006 in the English Only movements.

Before 1923, twenty-two states in America had laws prohibiting the teaching of foreign languages. The Supreme Court overturned this silliness in 1923. However, by 1954, 56% of U.S. high schools did not even have foreign language courses available to their students. Of those that did, only 14.2% of the students were enrolled in foreign language study. This was due to America's abnormal fear (xenophobia) of the strange or foreign as applied to foreign languages. By World War II, America was ill prepared linguistically to conduct the war. America's military had to play catch-up with the rest of the world by developing effective language learning methods almost overnight.

By the early 1970's, the slight improvement in public schools' offerings of foreign language programs once again suffered a decline. This was probably due to reduced funding for the programs. Second-language illiterate parents and school administrations made ill-informed decisions to cut funding thinking that foreign language learning did not benefit the students.

Elementary school foreign language acquisition programs disappeared. Foreign language entrance requirements were abolished at some universities.

When the early 1980´s rolled around, a small resurgence in second language learning occurred but progress was limited. Though studies and reports abounded on why America needed to become competent in foreign languages, only a small number of states had programs in the elementary levels. Most of those were spearheaded locally.

Any modern improvements today are constantly in danger of elimination by nationalist neo-populist, English Only groups. They view Mexican immigrants as brutalizing your children's public school's English education with their native Spanish.

In a 2002 story by Patrik Jonsson, published in The Christian Science Monitor, he reported that the states of Georgia, New Jersey, and the school district in Denver, Colorado, either had waived or were in the process of eliminating the foreign language requirement for high school graduation. I contacted all of these school districts. Only Denver responded. The representative said,

"I have checked with several counselors. At this time, we cannot think of any district in Colorado that requires Foreign Language (particularly in the Metro area). That's not to say there isn't a small district somewhere that requires it."

PART TWO - Solving the Problem

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Guanajuato, Mexico -- Dingbats

The Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Ding-a-lings.

Actually, I am not including any names in this post since it is too incredible to do so.

Once again the wife shares with me some of the forum fodder she reads online.

Q1. I want to know about apartments in Guanajuato and Michoacan.

A1. Yes, dear batty forum poster, they have apartments.

Had this woman just mentioned "Guanajuato" I would have made the assumption that she was referring to the city of Guanajuato. Guanajuato, the city, is the capital of the state of Guanajuato.

But, since she mentioned "Michoacan", another state, I am left to conclude she is also meaning Guanajuato the state and not the capital city.

What could possibly going through someone's mind, if anything at all, in stating such a question?

"I want to know about apartments in two of the states in the republic of Mexico."

Where in the states could this person possibly mean?

Q2. I am going to move to Guanajuato in two weeks and want to know where should I live?

A2. Are you for real?

One has got to wonder if these posters to the forums are real people or trolls trying to make the life of my wife miserable?

Q3. I am moving my family to Guanajuato and want to know about schools for my children. Can you enroll them for me and call me when you have the enrollment completed?

A3. See answer A2.

This is a real life post I got a number of years ago. The lady was from New Zealand. She actually gave me the stats for her children and asked if I would call her when I got the kids enrolled in school. GIVE ME A BREAK, PLEASE.

Q4. I've booked my destination to Guanajuato, what is there to do?

A4. Go to the nearest Barnes and Noble and buy something this is called a guidebook, BEFORE leaving the States.

Again, a real question that appears more than once on the forums.

Q5. We want to fly from the States into Mexico City, take a day trip to Acapulco, then hop over to Cancun on the bus. We want to do this in three days.

A5. Cancun is on the other side of the country from Acapulco meaning you would have to do this via plane. Did your Mickey Mouse Travel Agent tell you this?

Q6. How far is the beach from San Miguel de Allende?

A6. Are you geographically dyslexic or what? San Miguel de Allende is in the central highlands of Mexico smack dab in the middle of the country. By bus the nearest beaches are 8-10 hours away.

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Guanajuato, Mexico -- SMA Muggings

Here is a huge quote from the TripAdvisor Forum about one lady's mugging experience in the wonderfully safe San Miguel de Allende:

#1 ...Good to hear how much you liked SMA. It's a beautiful place and I am
spending my 4th winter here in order to get out of Chicago. Unfortunately, crime has skyrocketed and I got mugged on my 2nd night here in early January. Friends say it's gangs of youth who come in between Christmas and New Year's to prey on tourists. My
"socializing", especially at night, has been severely curtailed.

#2...I am so sorry to tell you that my mugging occurred just around the corner from Zacateros, close to Cafe Monet and the little bar there, on Cruz, just inside the La Aldea gates. The thug dragged me into Rinconada de Aldea (where I NEVER walk) and threw me to the ground, before taking off with my bag. People in Cafe Monet and the bar next
door heard my bloodcurdling shrieks and screams and a lot of people,
including 4 police, came running.

I had been such a huge fan of this place, spending 6 months of the year here to avoid Chicago's cold. I have always been very careful but led an active social life...you know how it is here. No longer...and many of my long-time friends here feel just the same. Read Carol's blog in www.fallinginlovewithsanmiguel.com. There's a lot of crime here.

Guanajuato, Mexico -- ALACRAN

Alacran is the Spanish word for scorpion. And last night, we saw our first alacarn--scorpion--in our new house.

Scorpions are in abundance in Mexico. If you stay here for any time at all you will likely see one of these devilish bugs crawling across your ceiling, hiding in your closet, embedded in your shoes or clothes, or sitting on the couch with you while you watch television.

They sit patiently seeming like they are not doing what they are suppose to do like hunt bugs. I am sure they are plotting my demise. They sit as though ready to spring on me to do me in. But, as they sit there on some surface in your house and are relatively easy to kill.

This scorpion was on the ceiling of our bedroom no doubt contemplating just how to land on our bed so it could lie in await for us. I had already taken off my glasses getting ready to crawl underneath the covers when my wife spotted it.

This one was NOT the usual brown ones that are so common in the state of Guanajuato. Whenever we've seen one and mentioned it to our Mexican neighbors, they always ask what color it was. There is a reason why they do this.

The brown ones are not particularly deadly. They can hurt you, I know from personal experience, but you usually just get a nasty sting. The reason for Mexicans wanting to know the color of the alacrans is that there is a very deadly species usually found in Durango, Mexico that has made its way from the northern states into central Mexico.

Durango state is the second lowest population density in Mexico but making up for that in having one of the most deadliest scorpions in the world. Durango is famous for their scorpions and is often called La tierra de los Alacranes” (the scorpions land).

The Durango scorpion is:

Yellow to tan with two broad, dark longitudinal stripes on the upper side of the abdomen. Slender pincers and a long, slender tail are characteristic. The pigment on the carapace is similar to that of Centruroides vittatus, but is suffuse (hence the name) toward the lateral margins. (Source)

This nasty critters are responsible for up to 1000 death each year in Mexico. Some sources will say up to 2000 deaths. For everyone who dies in Mexico from a snake bite, ten die from the sting of the Durango Devil.

The Leon, Guanajuato leather industry has been largely responsible for the importing of this creature in leather goods from Durango to be sold in the leather district. The scorpions ride along in the the products and now are responsible for deaths in the state of Guanajuato. Now, they are here in the city of Guanajuato.

You can't miss these as being the deadly species. They are strikingly different from the run-of-the-mill thick bodied brown ones more common here and can possibly kill you.

The sting can cause severe local and systemic symptoms. The sting of this species is one of the few that can actually cause death even in healthy, adult humans. --Source

I caught the deadly bug and flushed its scorpion hide down the toilet.

Guanajuato, Mexico -- Delusions Upon Delusions

The insane philosophical relativism I wrote about a few posts back is never more clearer than in the Gringolandian Mantra, "It is safe in Mexico because I've never felt safer in my life here." Feelings, not facts, is what gives the Gringolandian the fortitude to move to Mexico and live oblivious to the reality of what it is really like.

This oblivion is evident in the following:

Whenever a Gringolandian hears of anything that might smack of being a possible criminal event like "these thugs kept following us signaling to each other with whistles..." "We had to ditch it into a store..." the very first thing the Gringolandian says in response is:

May I ask: what time this occurred? Did you file police reports? Is there a way for you to get a government official to increase police presence? If the M.O. is the same, can the police be pressured into looking for specific people? Could you have taken a photo of their faces with your cell phone? Do you have a self-defence plan in place?

I can just hear the entire population of Mexican civilians laughing their heads off at two of the phrases:

1. Did you file a police report?
2. ...can the police be pressured into looking for specific people?

This is so typical of the culturally challenged Gringo. For reasons I cannot possibly explain, the Gringo comes to Mexico and expect EVERYTHING to work here as it did in America.

The FACTS are that Mexicans do not trust the police. In fact, they don't trust politicians, police, or judges.

The typical Gringolandian's response is, "call the police." The typical Mexican response is, "If the police and judges are corrupt, just to whom do we tell about our muggings, rapes, shootings, etc..."

One of Mexico's newspaper groups, The Reforma, conducted a survey. The participants were asked to rate their country's institutions on a "corruption scale." Zero would be no corruptions and ten would be the most corrupt.

On a score of 7-10 on the corruption scale to various institutions went as follows:

Politicians -- 87% of those polled gave a score of 7-10, up from 81% eight years ago
Police -- 80%
Union leaders -- 79%
Judges -- 71%
Lawyers -- 69%
Bureaucrats -- 65%
Business executives -- 59%
Priests -- 40%, up from 28% seven years ago
Journalists -- 39%, up from 33% eight years ago
Doctors -- 35%

Because the Mexican people do not trust the police or any aspect of the judicial or legislative process, how can there ever be the establishment of the rule of law?

Mexicans do not themselves call the police. Because they have no confidence in them they do not call for Protection from criminal activity.

So, why then does the Gringo jump on the "Let's call the police" bandwagon in response to criminal activity?

One forum poster makes this observation:

A few years ago I worked with groups in a nice hotel in San Francisco near the Tenderloin. I would tell people to be careful when they went out the front door. They must turn LEFT and could enjoy a stroll. But, they must NOT turn right or risk being mugged within a few blocks. For some reason Americans believe that ALL foreign cities must be totally safe and are offended when they find that the new country is just like home -- there are degrees of safety from neighborhood2neighborhood which one can ignore only at great risk. If you must walk at night, walk where there are plenty of people and lights.

Guanajuato, Mexico -- Most Violent City in the World

On Televisa's morning new show, it was reported that the frontera city, La Cuidad Juarez, is the most violent city in the world.

I have been to Juarez several times. I walked across the border from its sister city, El Paso, Texas and spent the day shopping and eating at several street kiosks.

The "rules" then were to stay within the crowded streets and not take one of the deserted side streets as a shortcut. Another rule was to make sure you were back across the border long before nightfall. If caught in town when darkness approached you were suppose to get to a hotel and hole up until morning.

That was in 2001-2002.

Now, I cannot begin to imagine how to walk through the shopping district without being confronted on the street in broad daylight much less after dark.

It is interesting to note that Mexicans here in Guanajuato rarely, if ever, refer to Cuidad Juarez by name. They always call it, "La Frontera", in a sort of pejorative snarl and hissing.

Guanajuato, Mexico -- Working the Culture #2

To be well on your way to cultural fluency is to recognize the one thing that gets the expat into trouble almost more than anything else. That is, believing the American way is the only way to get anything done.

American culture is the "I-did-it-my-way" culture and this breeds a certain kind of arrogance when the American tries living in Mexico or any other country.

This also breeds a contempt in other cultures regarding America and her people that the American will rarely, if ever, hear it told them explicitly. Being polite to a fault, rarely if ever contentious or confrontational, the Mexican will simply tolerate you in his or her country trying to be pleasing to the Gringolandian.

Because of the endearing Mexican quality of tolerance, the Gringo reports back home to potential expats that the Gringo is loved in Mexico. "They Love Us Here" is believed by the Gringolandian and they will take great offense at someone like me coming along and reporting that the Mexican does not "They Love Us here."

The Mexican has definite opinions about the American who invades their country. Whether it is as a tourist, a business man, or to become a member of a Gringolandian, the Mexican regards the American as impatient, having an anger problem, overly contentious, arrogant, confrontational, and anal retentive regarding time.

But, the average American Gringo will never, ever be told this or figure this out. One of the prime reasons is the language. The vast majority of Gringos will remain forever monolingual and never be able to reach a level of social intimacy with Mexicans to learn these innermost feelings.

Here's a tip: Want to win your way into the innermost thoughts of the Mexican? Learn Spanish.

Whether or not the expat wannabe is going to succeed in Guanajuato, or in any country really, is dependent on how they come across to their host nation's members--the locals. How you present yourself will eventually determine how well you end up living in Guanajuato.

Because a Mexican will not openly challenge you, the know-it-all-Gringo, does not mean you've made your case. If you want to get that roof fixed, the car repaired correctly, someone to show up on time, to give you a straight answer then leave your "It's-my-way-or-the-highway" Gringo false superiority at the border.

Like it or not, just because you have money does not mean your way is the only way. All the money in the world will never buy the Mexican's love, devotion, or loyalty.

It never will.

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Guanajuato, Mexico -- STREET ATTACK!

I was attacked this morning on the streets of Guanajuato, Mexico.

My assailant was an old, rusted street sign that only Mexican midgets could have avoided hitting with their heads.

Midgets? What am I saying? Almost everyone in this town is less than five feet tall and that is where this street sign, a penalty warning for not throwing trash in the streets--a joke, was set: exactly five feet off the sidewalk.

It was sharp, it was bent (no doubt from gringos crashing into it), it was rusted with a vicious, sharpened edge, it was rusty.

I went crashing into the thing. I crashed so severely that it not only rung my bell, as they say, but I began to bleed.

The vicious sign cut me.

My wife dutifully examined my cut and found the blood. She stemmed the crimson tide with a tissue. I felt I would hurl when she showed me the blood from my gushing gash.

We were out to run some errands. But that domestic quest was so rudely interrupted by an ill placed, razor sharp and dangerously angled weapon designed to rid the streets of anyone over five foot tall which means anyone who is NOT a Mexican.

I am over six foot.

Off we went to the emergency walk-in clinic to have life-saving medical procedures performed on my throbbing, bloodied head.

We decided to drop in on our favorite gay doctor. He was busying himself with a little bit of embroidery for a dress for one of his dolls. (I swear to God this is true.) My wife immediately went to oohing and aahing over his handicraft. The two of them seem to meld into some out-of-phase dimension where only lovers of this sort of thing could communicate.

Finally, Dr. Dolly jumped up to look into my horrendous medical emergency.

Both he and the wife finally reintegrated into my space-time reality and went probing through my bloodied mop.

"A scratch..." Dr. Dolly announced and gave me the grave prognosis that I would be fine.

The blood was just blood-tainted plasma.

I would live.

I quired him with a pained and worried cry whether I would need injections to stave off the infection and tetanus that had to be coursing its way through my cardiovascular system.

Dr. Dolly said I could get shots if I wanted to and told me where to do it for free. But, he assured me, it was not necessary.

So, there you have my brush with certain death I experienced today at the hands of some fool who placed a sign sharp enough to take off my head on the streets of Guanajuato.

I will live. Barely.

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A Walk Through Mexico's Crown Jewel: A Guanajuato Travelogue CLICK HERE

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