Monday, March 22, 2010

Guanajuato, Mexico - CHAIR and TOWEL WARS UPDATE

In case you have not tuned in lately, I just learned of a Gringolandian phenomenon that takes place all over Mexico's beach resorts: CHAIR WARS.

This is the long kept secret about what beach resorts is all about. I've thought all these years that Gringos go to beaches to have fun. You know, swimming in the ocean (dodging the sharks), playing volleyball on the sandy beaches, laying in the sun to work on a tan you could not possible get in Minnesota, eying the scantly clad men or women, maybe seeing wild dolphins leaping out of the water.

Oh no. This is not what it is about at all. They go to the resorts, spend a small (or large) fortune to get there, get a room at a hotel for even a larger fortune, and they do this to engage in CHAIR WARS.

Chair Wars is an intense life and death struggle to see who can get the most choice spot on the beach each morning. This war is replete with rules of engagement, what you can and cannot do, and has consequences for violating the engagement rules. It gets ugly.

These people, who need a bicycle pump sized syringe of psychotropic medications administered in an IV drip, actually will do things like spend the night on the chairs under their chosen palapas. They might get up at three in the morning to go and sit out in the chair so to reserve it with their Gringo flesh. Or, they could leave their towels on the chair overnight only to have the towels moved and their seats absconded. This leads to a bloody confrontation.

These people are quite insane. They not only do what I have just written but spend months and months in the States fretting over the Chair Wars before ever getting to a Mexican resort. They worry to the degree where they cannot sleep and even take to calling the hotel to complain and they aren't even at the resort yet.


Here is a little exchange:

Re: idiotic towel games at the Valentin Imperial Maya

We won't have a problem finding a spot because we will not play the game. Get up at 6am and put a towel on a seat if you want, but when we get there, we will take the towel off if you have not been there for an hour. The only way this game will stop is if most of us stop playing and ignore the towels. In time people will stop doing it if it doesn't work.


Re: idiotic towel games at the Valentin Imperial Maya

Yea, it easier said than done. Are going to start a fight? If the hotel does not enforce you think you will? Good Luck.

Are you beginning to see what I mean about Gringos?


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