Monday, October 19, 2009

The Most Hated Gringo in the World -- 33


Gringolandia Candidates Questions & Answers

1) Gringo at SMA's bogus tour of homes which is really a Real Estate Scam to sell you something you cannot afford:

"Do I have to see or deal with any Mexicans if I buy the house you are trying to trick me into buying?"

Slick Real Estate Shyster: "Are you kidding? The only Mexicans you'll ever have to deal with are those who pay slave wages to to wait on you hand and foot."

2) Gringo asks while signing real estate contract and handing over a suitcase full of cash: "Do they love us here?"

Estate Scammer Shyster: "Are you kidding? They tell their children that their sole purpose in life is to wait on the Gringo hand and foot and if they don't like it, they are welcome to live elsewhere than SMA."

3) Gringo who just signed his or her life away in the Mexican real estate transaction: "Will there be mosquitoes there?"

Real Estate Scammer Shyster says now that he has mucho American Dollars: "Oh, they are as big as the SUV's you intend on driving down here and will devour your children as soon as you open a window in your new SMA home."

4) Gringo calls Real Estate Scammer Shyster while standing in new home: "Where are all the light fixtures, doors, window frames, the stove and refrigerator, and floor tiles?

Real Estate Scammer Shyster: "Oh, I took those for my cousin Rickie. But I can sell you something different for cheap if you like. And, it's legal so don't bother getting an abogado."

5) Gringo talking to Estate Scammer Shyster standing over wife's body who died of a heart attack in her new SMA home that is just an empty shell: "How could you do this to us?"

Real Estate Scammer Shyster after hysterical laughing fit: "What's wrong with you, you Stupid Gabacho? It was all in the contract you signed willing and ready."

6) Gringo now telling paramedics and Mexican police why his wife is dead on the floor: "But, the contract was all in Spanish and I don't read or speak a word of Spanish."

Real Estate Scammer Shyster: "¡QuĂ© tonto!"

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