Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Poodles, Eggplant, and Inbreeding

Let me just say that genetics is not considered when it comes to breeding poodles in this town. For some reason, and I think it is INBREEDING, all of the poodles in this town look absolutely the same and that is to say, they look like eggplants with legs.

Let me explain:

Imagine an eggplant with legs. The end of the eggplant that tapers to a small point is the rear end of the dog. The big bulbous end is the chest of the dog with legs, of course. Then, on top of the big bulbous end is another eggplant.


The bulbous end is where what might pass as ears sit and the tapered end of the eggplant is where the hideous little mouth is that does nothing else but squeak. I can't say that it barks. It is like a squeeze toy that sounds like it is caught in a vice and never stops.

The dogs, I am told, are poodles.

They are, in my view, an abomination.

Now, I love dogs. I love most animals except tigers that escape from zoo enclosures and which would try to eat me.

But, whatever it is that is passed off as poodles in Guanajuato is the most ugly thing I have ever seen that has fur and is suppose to be a dog.

And, I am so ashamed to say that when I see these dogs I feel like shrieking as though I was made to see a living nightmare that is, I should add, always trying to bite me. They have this deceptive appearance of a little lamb with that curly fur of theirs but don't let that fool you.

They are murderous.

Then, when I am forced to hear them squeaking like a furry stuffed toy bear stuck in the cog of some machine, making what is an ETERNAL noise, all I have are thoughts of euthanasia.

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