Notes From Life in the Twilight Zone

"I would like travelers, especially American travelers, to travel in a way that broadens their perspective, because I think Americans tend to be some of the most ethnocentric people on the planet..." --Rick Steves

I've come to believe in recent years that living in Mexico, and for a variety of reasons, is as close as you can get to living in The Twilight Zone. The reasons for this are not all Mexican, I have to say from the beginning. Some are, maybe even most, but it is most certainly like living in another dimension in which time itself functions along a different quantum phase making living here, well, interesting in a maddening sort of way.

In case you've forgotten or are too young to recall,

"The Twilight Zone is an American television anthology series created by Rod Serling. Each episode (156 in the original series) is a mixture of self-contained fantasy, science fiction, or horror, often concluding with a macabre or unexpected twist." – Wikipedia

Let me just venture to say that this describes Life in Mexico depending on where you live, or course, and to what degree genuine education has infiltrated and usurped Mexican provincialism.

For a little bit of "self-contained fantasy, science fiction, or horror…" go to YouTube and type in "Flying Humanoid" and be prepared for a belly-busting laugh. In Monterrey, according to one report, a policeman, mind you, a Cop fainted when we saw the flying and cackling thingee zoom at him, so he says, from a tree.

Whatever "The Flying Humanoid" is, and frankly I don't care, this sort of thing happens in this country and is accepted as real as the air through which the thing flies with nothing to prove otherwise. "Let's test this hypothesis" does not apply in a lot of Provincial Mexico.

Another reason this is like The Twilight Zone is, in a word, Gringos! Apart from being rabid liberals, most of them anyway, they move here with the nuttiest ideas and beliefs.

"Are they all Mexican here?"

"Look at what that Spanish man is doing."

"I wanted change, not pesos."

"You call this a taco?"

My wife and I were in a church in the Mexican highlands when a funeral procession began. As we were trying to politely and reverently excuse ourselves from the family's mournful gathering, we saw a handful of Gringos parade past us, dressed in "Gidget-goes-to-the-beach" wear (I was frankly surprised no one had folding patio chairs), with cameras at the ready. As the family opened the casket these California-Dreamers rushed the front for a photo shoot. We could hear the whine of the snapping shutters and see the subsequent flashing.

Here's a tip: Believe it or not, just because you had to re-mortgage your home to afford a trip to Mexico does not entitle you to take pictures in a church of dead babies, walking into the church like you were going for a romp on a beach, nor disrupt any services. The Church is not a museum.

Here's another tip: In Mexico they are called Mexican and not Spanish.

What prompted today's Blog was my wife and I witnessing yet another funeral procession being regarded by Gringo tourists as a photo-op. There they stood as the hearse pulled up to the church clicking away trying to get as many photos of some poor family's loved one's funeral.

Do you suppose that these Americans who stood there gawking like they were at the circus snapping photos of a parade as fast as they could would react kindly to foreigners imposing themselves on their mother's funeral?

Why Americans come to Mexico and engage in behaviors they would not possibly try in the States is beyond my ability to comprehend. In America do they jump in the car when they hear the neighbor's infant died with camera in hand just frothing at the mouth to get photos? Can you image the ensuing fist fight, or worse, that would erupt? The lawsuits? And, yet, I have seen this now more than once happen in Mexico. Is it that Americans think because they've forked over money to come here that they are ENTITLED to commit such a barbaric act of filming some poor, mourning Mexican family's funeral?

I mean, really!

THE PLAIN TRUTH ABOUT LIVING IN SAN MIGUEL DE ALLENDE

I recently received a letter from long-time Gringos living in San Miguel de Allende. Let me just say that through two books and more than 330 published article I've said essentially what this man wrote me about life in Gringolandia. For my efforts I've been vilified and often threatened with harm for my views. May Bill Davies and Karen Harding have a better life ahead.


###

Doug Bower:

We just wrote this essay after living in SMA full-time for four years. Thought you might be interested. Do with it what you will.

Bill Davies/Karen Harding


Why We Left San Miguel de Allende

The explanation has several aspects,

First, our recent trip to Corpus Christi, where we have friends who used to live in San Miguel, and Florida reminded us--strongly--that we miss being near water and boats. We grew up with it in the Northeast, had it in Florida before we came here, and (you might recall) were seduced by the Pacific into buying a house lot in Puerto Escondido two years ago. Sounds like Brokeback Mountain--"We wish we could quit you." But we can't.

The final night in Corpus, we had dinner at a waterfront restaurant, on the deck. On the water. Amid boats. And gulls trying to snatch our food. It was an "uh-oh" moment. Corpus Christi isn’t for us, but Gulfport, Florida, where we used to live, is. Good climate, plenty of sailing water, a symphony orchestra, year-round resident chamber music groups, a vibrant and serious art scene, good seafood, etc.

Yes, it means going back to the materialistic, consumer-driven, mean-spirited, theocratic United States, but. . .read on.

There are two San Miguels, each with significant shortcomings. One is the city where people actually live, full-time or (more commonly) six months of the year. This burgeoning magnet for developers and other carpetbaggers we call San Diego de Allende. The other is the city whose government’s focus is on tourism. San Miguel is in the process of killing this goose that laid the golden egg, turning it into Disneyland--San Mickey de Allende.

San Diego de Allende

We came to San Miguel de Allende in order to experience Mexican culture and Mexican life. Instead, we found ourselves surrounded by the aspects of American culture and American life which we had always managed to avoid in the States, and which we went to Mexico to avoid. In the States, the self-centered, arrogant, entitled, consumerist people--the “Ugly Americans”-- are scattered and have little effect on us. In San Miguel, one can't ignore them--they're concentrated in a small area, twirling and meddling, always in one’s face, always acting so, um, American. Ironically, we saw more of the worst aspects of American behavior and values in SMA than we did in the States. As someone from another part of Mexico once remarked to us, “Oh, yes, San Miguel--that’s the place where the people iron their jeans.”

San Miguel is not a Mexican town. The dominant presence is the gringos. The Jardin is lovely, for example, but we seldom went there because the strutting, posturing people we saw were exactly what we came there to avoid.

The carpetbagger commercialism is rampant; the new mayor, we've been told, is worse than the previous one for giving (selling?) permits/exemptions to developers. A realtor told us that there are 80 developments under way in greater SMA. The well over 1000 houses (a four-year inventory!) on the market, make one wonder if people are fleeing. Wal-Mart just broke ground, not on the outskirts but in an already traffic-congested area. The main rotary coming into town now has on its corners a big supermarket (the town’s second), several bank buildings, and a strip mall, all new. Up the hill from this is a new, American-style large mall, which includes an Office Depot and a McDonald’s. In the historic and supposedly untouchable, preserved centro are Starbuck’s (proclaimed in large metal letters), Dunkin’ Donuts, Subway, and others. Starbuck’s adds to the advertising pollution with a large van that winds through the streets, covered with their publicity--a traveling billboard.

The lovely, historic Villa Jacaranda has been sold and a 12-month rebuilding has begun. So far, the entire front of the hotel has been demolished and, most likely, the new building will be glitzy. This is occurring in the center of town, which is supposedly subject to strict preservation laws. The greased palm rules again.

The streets in our area (and the schoolyards, and the kids' play equipment) were covered with guano dropped by egrets, as well as decaying fish parts that they leave after hunting at the lake. The reason they now nest in this residential area is that so much of their former habitat has been stripped by developers, and the stripping isn't finished yet.

We know one thing that this means, from our Cape Cod years: people who live here (Mexicans and others) full time will pay ‘seasonal’ tourist prices for everything all year. Mexican friends are complaining about the increase in food costs. The price of everything is going up, to gouge the gringos: Our mail courier service’s monthly fee went up 17% in less than a year (plus they once charged us $10 to give us a map that we ordered from Amazon for $6!)

Just read, if you can without gagging, the English-language weekly, Atencion. A third of it is given to slick, four-color real estate ads. Another fifty percent goes for boutique and restaurant ads (equally slick). And a bunch of ads for tai-chi, psychotherapy, and other American new-age enticements. There is also a small amount of useful news, plus ‘news articles’ actually promoting commercial ventures like concerts, and written by the participants or promoters of these events. A blog site recently asserted that the paper has made it known that it will not publish ads or articles which contain negative comments about San Miguel, or which might offend its advertisers. San Mickey de Allende

San Miguel de Allende--it’s everything you left behind!

San Miguel has become a town for people who keep a home in the States, vacationers, and tourists. The official stated civic goal there is tourism. It will become Disneyland, rather than a lovely, Mexican town to live in, and the government's attention will be increasingly given to the Centro and the tourists' wishes, not to the needs of those who choose to live here. In so doing , of course, they will destroy the uniqueness which lures people here.

San Miguel, despite what you read, is shallow, superficial, and pretentious. It is as though you’ve walked into the Mexico Pavilion at Walt Disney World. It’s a construct, imagined, not real. One expects to walk behind the buildings and find them, Universal Studio-like, propped up by 8-by-8 timbers.

Culture? There are virtually no resident musicians (and not even a good music store). To be sure, there are a chamber music festival and a jazz festival, but they feature imported talent: it’s a spectator sport. The gringos put their butts on a chair and get culturized, but almost nobody in town plays. Anyone who lives here has trouble finding people to play music with; there aren’t many, and of those, most are only part-time residents. The American consular officer (himself a musician) has stated that there is virtually no chance of forming a chamber group--much less an orchestra--in San Miguel. There once was an active jazz scene, but the few really good jazz players in town don’t appear often anymore. (And no wonder: a first-class musician in the best known restaurant/club gets $27 for three hours, while the backslapping, smooth- talking owner rakes in the gringo bucks.) Now, on any night of the week, wherever you go, there is the same self-promoting, superannuated hipster reading tunes out of the student book from which Bill taught at the Berklee College of Music. A ‘jazz concert,’ often by an American part-timer or visitor, carries a price tag of $15-25: the quality is usually not worth it.

SanIt is the same for the much-vaunted ‘art scene.’ The big draw--and what put San Miguel on the map for some three decades starting in the ‘50s--was the chance to study at the Instituto. Now the spaces that were once filled with classrooms and galleries contain overpriced restaurants and shops. While some serious, quality artists remain, the ‘scene’ is increasingly dominated by hobbyists-- CEO-pension wives or insurance widows reinventing themselves as artists ("gee, I've always wanted to do that--it doesn't look so difficult"). There are still some classes, at the Bellas Artes, but they are taught by hobbyists and overpriced, aimed at the well-to-do gringo dilettantes.

Oh, there are (for a fee) lectures upon lectures--largely declamations about the obvious given by retired Rotarians and Ohio valedictorians. Or consider the screening of Al Gore’s movie which was followed and trivialized by an inane talk by an overage yuppie in L. L. Bean wide-wale corduroys and Birkenstocks.

Intelligent discourse? How about the lengthy correspondence on the San Miguel blog (the Civil List) debating whether being an expatriate means you can’t be patriotic. A spelling lesson could’ve settled this one. (Generally, the blog entries deal with really important gringo concerns, such as finding a recipe for brie, or buying an electric can opener.)

Mexican culture? The Mexicans still have their festivals and dances, but it’s Steppin’ Fetchit time. The dancing Mexicans are ringed by gringos with digital cameras, capturing the quaintness to show the folks back home. And the Mexicans play into it. Mariachi bands circle the jardin, looking for knots of gringos to serenade (producing the obligatory Oliver Twist “Please,sir” handout) . Incredibly, a gringo recently,wrote to the local paper protesting the fireworks that often go off in the middle of the night, and asking the city government to curtail the practice. The fireworks are a centuries-old part of Mexican religious and social life. Another gringo made a much-needed large donation to a church, on condition that they not ring their bells at night. These sounds come with being in Mexico--but this new wave of largely part-time settlers, ignorant of Mexican mores, want them abolished! These people want to be in Mexico (cheap maids, cooks, gardeners) but need to change the fact that it’s so, um, Mexican.

There is, however, plenty of noise to complain about. Boom boxes in cars, in school yards, at the traditional Tuesday market, and so on. While we'd expected lovely Mexican music to come wafting out of the houses and shops all over town, what we're getting instead is American-introduced noise: loud hip-hop and rap. All part of the American-wannabe mindset (oversized jeans, baseball caps, texting, junk food) that has seized the younger generation. And the drone of low-flying planes from carpetbaggers selling sight-seeing tours and flying lessons over the city (and, we assume, below the smog curtain).

Most days the traffic approaches gridlock, and the quaint, narrow, cobblestone streets are jammed with cars and SUVs--lots of SUVs. The air is polluted by traffic fumes, as well as by cement powder from the rampant construction, and by the ever-present dust, to the extent that it's becoming a health issue. We used to look at the mountains every morning from our deck; now they’re always obscured. We coughed a lot. (And we saw people on the street wearing surgical masks.) Bill developed a persistent, frightening cough--which, by the way, disappeared during our third week in the States.

After we moved, we had to wash the accumulated dust--mostly white cement powder-- off every item we unpacked--from the smallest knick-knack to the largest desk, even though we’d had a maid come two days a week for the period we were in San Miguel. It got us to wondering what filthy film has been coating our lungs. We noticed, driving and walking through the neighboring cities of Celaya and Queretaro, that San Miguel is really dirty by comparison, and perhaps the filthiest city we’ve lived in--except the sections the city administration sweeps and polishes for the tourists. Walking and breathing in San Miguel are not pleasant, particularly if one factors in the high altitude and hilly terrain which make it difficult for many older people, or people with respiratory problems. This is a high, arid desert plain.

If you spend your time at street level, as does your pet, it’s far worse. Exhaust pipes are at snout level, and sniffing the sidewalks takes in who knows what. Our dog, who in all her ten years before SMA had never been sick, recently got seriously ill from eating something from the street. And, by the way, nowhere else have cars repeatedly aimed at her, young Mexican drivers laughing all the while--while she was on the leash! In addition, we learned recently from a veterinarian that the major brand of dog food we’d been feeding her is not the same in Mexico as in the States, and is bad for the pet's health.

Walking in San Miguel is visually no longer what it was, either. The streets are now lined with parked cars and SUVs. Your vista there is as cluttered, modern, and ostentatious as in any American city. And there's incredible visual pollution from all the banners, placards, flags, and billboards advertising new, usually gated, real estate developments. They are along every highway and street, on every wall, on every lamppost and signpost.

We've never been in a place so obsessed with real estate. In 2000, there were 10 realty offices; in 2008, there are 52. The usual opening line when two gringos meet on the street is, “Did ya buy yet?” The infrastructure is groaning, and there are serious water shortage issues down the road, perhaps as soon as a couple of years. But still they build, greasing the politicians' palms. The new, gated, developments are what the gringos want. They turn up their noses at the older, lovely Mexican-type houses for sale, because they want the Long Island-Santa Fe-Palm Beach house that they couldn’t afford in the States. And they must have a dishwasher and disposal. Water issues? A gated, 600-unit development with a full Nick Faldo golf course is now under construction. Water issues?

A final straw came as we were beginning to write this: a cell phone tower was put up at our corner, under cover of a Sunday night, with no warning, no neighborhood involvement, no hearings, nothing. It stands adjacent to two crowded schools, one elementary, one middle. No matter that there are thousands of Google entries describing the effects of these towers, especially on children. Somebody got paid.

The boutiques and restaurants are all just so very precious and expensive, so Manhattan--except for the quality, which generally falls short of what’s found in any major American or European city. A Chinese restaurant will use the same brown sauce to drown all of its dishes, and sushi is stuffed with Philadelphia cream cheese--no kidding!--with the rice always soggy; a "New Orleans" grill offers meals that wouldn't be remarkable in any city, much less New Orleans; many people have gotten sick at a German place whose owner has done jail time for padding credit card receipts; an Italian restaurant has become known as a ptomaine palace (and all the Italian eateries regularly overcook their pasta); several rib houses were on our ‘avoid’ list for the excessive salt and the MSG in the gravies; a take-out lunch from a “Middle Eastern” place had to be thrown in the garbage (the place is now closed). One tourist wrote that her dinner at the city’s premier steak house was like the lunches she had as a British schoolgirl.

Kitchens are staffed by Mexicans attempting to cook other countries' cuisines as though painting by the numbers. One university has opened a branch that will offer only courses in “hospitality and gastronomy.” What happened to importing quality foreign chefs for a “World Class City”?

And ever more expensive. Even the menu signs outside all the little storefront Mexican eating places are covered with ‘stickies’--price increases stuck on over the originals.

Of course, as money flows into a place, crime will follow it. And property crimes in San Miguel--housebreaks, muggings, purse-snatching--have increased noticeably. In October of 2008, meetings were held between expats and the police department about the alarming increase in crime, particularly in the booming San Antonio colonia. Chilling personal stories were given at the meeting, but the police chief said that he couldn’t do much about it because “the Mexican laws are [expletive].” His department covers more than 540 neighborhoods and, on any one shift, only 35 policemen are in the streets. There have also been recent articles in the news about rapes, both in the streets and in people’s homes. This is not a quaint art village; it’s a city, with all the urban negatives you’d expect. Consider this, from a letter to Atencion recently:

Things will get worse before they get better. Remittances to Mexico from the US are down by 12 percent. Families here are hurting and jobs are scarce for young men left behind. Stealing is a way to bring in money. Laws here favor criminals, who brazenly enter homes when occupants are there, knowing they probably will get away with their crimes. The police force is understaffed and under-trained. Therefore, we have to make sure we lock our doors and windows, safeguard our property and take responsibility for our own and our neighbors’ security. We should engage neighbors in a Neighborhood Watch or Vecinos Vigilantes. The Mexican community has never relied on the police to protect it. It’s naïve of the foreign community to expect they will protect us.

Eventually--perhaps soon--the word will get out that San Miguel is no longer either exotic or inexpensive--or even safe-- and not really worthy of the tourist’s attention. The world offers many higher-quality alternatives for the same money, or less. The boom will be over for “investors,” too, as property values return to realistic levels. (In past years, realtors have stressed San Miguel houses as investments, not as homes.)

We really gave it a shot, and jumped in with both feet. Bringing all our stuff down there was a huge task, and we put our hearts into the house. It was different four and a half years ago, when we bought the house. Even two years ago. The past year has seen a tremendous acceleration in the negatives, and it shows no sign of abating. We went there thinking about the San Miguel we had known in past years, and we got blindsided.

When we moved, Mexico took one last shot at us. San Miguel Moving company turned out to be a one-man operation made to look larger, competent, and up-to-date by extensive use of cell phones, email, numbers to call for recommendations, and a web site. The big selling point was that the owner is bilingual and has dual citizenship; therefore, the truck would not have to be unloaded and reloaded at the border. After the truck was loaded and on its way, the owner said on the phone that he was not on on the job. Then it turned out that he had booked another job for the same run. He delayed our delivery for eight days in order to add that job, putting us off by not returning our calls (when he did return our calls, we got stories about “mechanical trouble”) . Our goods were damaged by his cramming in the second load. In addition, the trailer’s tires and suspension were inadequate, and the ensuing vibrations caused all the grout to come out of our tile tables.

This pattern of adopting the trappings of American business--use of technology, spiffy graphics on posters, and such, in businesses, banks, law offices, doctors’ and dentists’ offices--all very American looking--happens all the time in San Miguel. It justifies American prices (Cable vision costs the same in SMA as in the States, for poorer service, many fewer channels, an inferior TV image, and erratic internet delivery) without providing the concomitant value. The U. S.? Why? But, why not?

True, every place, including Florida, has its drawbacks, and people decide to leave. That's why there's a real estate industry.


True, there are places in Mexico near the water--the Matzatlan and Veracruz areas, for example--but they're hot and humid, and we'd have to spend several months away from them every year as most people do, We can't afford to do so.

It's not that we have an affection for the States (especially the politics or the value system) or feel a need to go back there. But wherever we are, we can pretty much decide what we want to pay attention to and what not (this usually depends on how much we're willing to spend on blood-pressure medication). We've learned over the years that we can be in a place without being of the place. We did our marching and banner-carrying over the years, and realize now that we can't alter government policies or even make a statement simply by leaving the country. (Who even notices that you’ve gone?) We grew up with certain comforts and conveniences, things we grew used to (like being able to use the language with intelligence, wit, and subtlety)--things which one can perhaps give up in exchange for a charming and/or inexpensive locale. Today’s San Miguel is neither.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

—Lily Tomlin

Jerry's City

I just had to respond to yet another demented letter to the editor at Atención San Miguel. In case you don't know, this is the Gringo Rag-Newspaper that exists for the Gringolandian's sake. It has a letter to the editor column which, from time to time, my wife will call to my attention as blog fodder.

Jerry Writes:

This is it! I unilaterally declare war and tomorrow will buy an anti-aircraft gun, or in case my aim is shaky, a heat-seeking missle. My target will be the light plane that circled San Miguel today (Thursday, November 6), broadcasting advertisments so loudly that the walls of the house shook. If I receive any messages from heaven I want them to come from an archangel or directly from God Himself, not from some thoughtless clod who has no respect for the citizens of San Miguel.

Dear Jerry,

Believe it or not, citizens of San Miguel de Allende are those who are Mexicans or naturalized Mexican citizens. I strongly suspect this does not include you, Jerry Davis. I have no idea how long you have lived in San Miguel de Allende, or SMA, but if you are a typical Gringo in that town you either have a tourist visa, an FM3 visa, or nothing at all. This means, Jerry, that you cannot included yourself in the "respect for the citizen of San Miguel." And, as far as that goes, did you survey all the citizens of San Miguel to find out what they think before you began speaking on their behalf?

San Miguel is about fireworks, church bells, music in the Jardín and fiestas. The authentic sounds and noises of Mexico only add flavor to the town we love to live in. Up til now I have tolerated the chainsaw whine of the ultralights, the nasty chop, chop, chop of the helicopters and the drone of light planes. I hoped that they would be banned; now I will be tempted to eliminate them all.

Jerry, you silly Gringolandian Clown! Davis seems to me to be an Anglo and not Mexican name. How is it then do you begin to have the ganas to tell everyone what San Miguel de Allende is about? You are living in a Gringolandia Bubble, an illusion, a fantasy, a Concept about Mexico, Jerry, and not the Reality. San Miguel de Allende is not about what you Gringolandians have as your illusion of what Mexico should be. It is about Mexicans doing what they want in their town! It is not about you Mr. Jerry Davis and your silly notions and fantasies of how you want San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato, Mexico to be.

And, by the way, Jerry...I am forwarding your letter to the editor to the authorities here in the capital. You can expect visitors, soon!

This really is a very, very typical Gringolandian and from the American Gringo species I suspect. They believe that the town in Mexico in which they buy a house (or even rent) empowers them to regard that town as "theirs" and that they have this right or authority because of the money they spend in the town, to speak as though Mexican authorities should jump when the Gringos snap their fingers.

Denying the Safety Issues in Mexico

If you want to see a very interesting dynamic that takes place whenever one American expat confronts another expat or confronts a group of American expats about the crime in Mexico, try suggesting that it is dangerous in Mexico.

From online forums to dinner table talk, you will discover, in general, that those Americans who live in Mexico, especially those who have retired here, will not tolerate a negative thought about Mexico. They live according to a well-defined safety illusion about Mexico—A Concept and not the Reality—and in their gushing idealism, all the while rhapsodizing about how wonderful it all is, will hate you to the grave for suggesting otherwise.

Whenever you confront them with the facts, something you heard on the Spanish-only news or read in the Spanish-only newspaper, they stammer and stagger about as though their airways are obstructed and then, knowing they can't deny your objective findings, they will say something like:

"Of course, one would have to be very unlucky to get caught in middle of any of this violence. On any given day in New York, Washington, Atlanta, or other large city, there is the possibility of shootings, and other violence." (Blog Comments)

I hear this so often. No American Expat seems to want to admit that the violence in Mexico not only exceeds the United States in viciousness but they also go to great lengths, and predictably so, to make some kind of bizarre comparison to crime in America in a vain attempt to downplay and soften Mexico's woes. One guy I know, a fruity-tooty American lawyer I am convinced is on the lam from America, said he felt perfectly safe in Guanajuato compared to a town in America of the same size. I find this all unfathomable.

It has to be that Americans do not read the news, can't read the news, or refuse to read the Mexican news lest it shake them to their cores because of their decision to move to Mexico. I mean, my God, that has to be it. Because no thinking person, no one with the slightest semblance of rational thinking would make such hideously ignorant comparisons.

I was at a dinner in early October just after Michoacan's Independence Day Celebration in September 2008. This was the event in which members of a Cartel, which one I don't think was ever conclusively determined, threw shrapnel grenades into the midnight cheering crowd as the governor read "El Grito." This killed many and wounded even more. I brought this up and whether Guanajuato's Cervantino Festival would suffer a similar fate. One man sought to rebuke my protestations by telling me I was being an alarmist and that he was cool as a cucumber with the whole affair. Since he wasn't involved in the Narco-Drug Trade, he had not a thing to worry about.

Ok, here's why I go off at dealing with my fellow American Expats when comes to being "In" or "Out" of the loop: They really do not know what end of the stick is up or down. Such a bubbled existence is the life of the typical (not all, of course) American expat who lives in their perceived Shangri-La here that they actually think this rising crime is limited to drugs. What world are they living in?

In the Associated Press, November 2008 Yahoo News, the story makes this point:

"Corruption is widespread, reaching as high as the federal Attorney General's office, and the drug gangs often control more than the drug trade, extorting money from business leaders and even teachers."

The Narco-Trafficantes or Narco-Terroristas are more than drug runners. They are The Mexican Mob or Mafia. They are the extortionists that exact protection money from the vendors in Embajadoras, Mercado Hidalgo, and Dolores Hidalgo. They are the same people. And, they are not above attacking innocent children.

"On Wednesday, an anonymous banner appeared at the door of a public Ciudad Juarez kindergarten, threatening to attack the school's children if the teachers don't hand over their Christmas bonuses. Classes were immediately suspended as police decided what security measures to take."

So, just when, Mr. and Ms. American Expatriate sitting so high and mighty, warm and secure in your knowledge that you are not going to be an Alarmist, will it be time to sound the alarm?

And, just when, I would ask Mr. and Ms. American Expat, have you heard such a plethora of beheadings happening within America's organized crime and promising to attack kindergarten children if the teachers don't ante up their Christmas bonuses?

Story Source:
Crime reporter killed in Mexican border city;
Yahoo News
Associated Press

###

A Walk Through Mexico's Crown Jewel: A Guanajuato Travelogue Click on Link for a Christmas Special I am offering...

Conquer the Recession Blues - Read an EBook!

The onset of the "Oh-no-it's-a-recession" panic caused a lot of would-be travelers and potential expatriates to Mexico to put a screeching halt to not only their plans to take a trip down to my neck of the Mexican woods but they've also stopped their research. This is what most of us who have made this magnificent transition have done - research. We read, no we devour, everything we can on hotels, hostels, restaurants, rentals, real estate, and some of us delve into culture and language before making a reconnaissance trip down South of the Border to check out the lay of the land, which is something we highly recommend. It's what my wife and I did and what many potential expatriates do.

While I get the point about traveling costs as a reason to put plans on hold, I would suggest that you don't have to stop your research into visiting or moving to Mexico. If that was your pre-Recession strategy, to visit or retire to Mexico, you can continue to do the necessary research. I can't stress this enough. You've got to know what you are getting into before coming. Some make the mistake of not doing their homework. Don't let something like a Recession stop you from finding out, in the comfort of your American or Canadian home, what it is you need to prepare for a life of retirement or even just a vacation in Mexico.

Most of the expat info available is contained in just a few books. The travel aspect of Mexico is pretty much of a cinch. The ole faithful, Lonely Planet, is standing by and ready. It can sometimes be a bit off on prices of hotel and transportation costs, but this is the inherent problem with guidebooks.

Information on retiring, working, or just hanging out-expatriation-is a little harder to dig up. A lot of information is online, but often it is not very accurate. Cost-of-living is something everyone seems to want to know and this is the hardest information to give out to seekers. You simply have to realize that your cost-of-living will be the amount you need to make yourself comfortable in your new home. It will be something you can live with. How my wife and I live in Guanajuato, Mexico, is not the norm for most of the expats we know. We live like Mexicans do and thus live very cheaply. Friends of ours here in Guanajuato live like Americans in Mexico and it costs them dearly. The recession has sent some to the real estate agents to put their houses on the Mexican market. They cannot afford to keep living like King Solomon and The Queen of Sheba. What it is going to cost you in a particular place to live in Mexico is entirely dependent upon your tastes.

How, when book prices are so high, not to mention the shipping and handling costs, can the potential expatriate to Mexico find out what he or she needs to know?

I am the author of several books that are NOT selling. My competitors, at least online, don't seem to be doing any better. Though Amazon.com has free shipping offers for books, it doesn't appear to be moving the "Live in Mexico" genre. Times for print books are tough.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be in the ebook.

You can buy a print book that retails for a small fortune (or so it seems) for a few dollars in digital form. There is no shipping and handling and you can read these books in a variety of ways.

I know some in the "older" baby boomer age bracket who just cannot bring themselves to read ebooks. They complain that it is "too hard" to sit at the computer and read them. I personally find I can read the ebooks much faster on my larger computer screen. I get a cup of coffee, a snack, and read fast and furiously. If I want, I go slower.

The point is that there are so many ways today to read ebooks and you can get all manner of fiction or non-fiction selections. Best Sellers are often in ebook format.

PDF ebooks and Mobipocket formats are what I use most often. You can download a PDF ebook instantly and begin reading as soon as the download is complete. You can download the Mobipocket reader free and then download a book in that format and read away. I like the Mobipocket for its appearance of looking like the pages of a small paperback book.

Also, you can read these ebooks on your laptop. Sit back on the couch with a few pillows and some tea and read all night long. There are handheld devices available also into which you can download the books. It is like holding a small paperback book in your hands. It so reminds me of Star Trek: The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine because this is how they read their literature...on handheld devices. Amazon.com now has their Kindle Reader, which is their handheld device. This device allows their customers to download books within seconds and begin reading almost immediately.

The costs can be substantial. One "move-to-Mexico" paperback retails for $17.95 but the ebook sells for $12.00. Stephen King's, Just After Sunset Stories (hardback) retails for $28.00 but the ebook Kindle Version is just $9.99.

The Kindle Reader is pricey. It sells for $359.00. Other readers, to host the Mobipocket versions for example, can be as low as $95.00 and as high as $700.00. However, you have to look at it from the perspective of making the cost of the reader back in the savings from paperback and hardback book prices and their shipping.

For me, dwindling planetary resources (the planet is running out of trees) is a strong consideration for going ebook and phasing out my purchase of paper books.

So, don't let the recession stop you from doing your expatriation (or traveling) research. Buy ebooks by the dozens and read to your heart's content so you can be fully prepared for your living-in-another-country adventure!

###

Ebooks on Guanajuato Travel and Expatriation Issues! CHECK IT OUT!

Safety in Mexico Whether Tourist or Expatriate

I still say that Mexico makes sense. Even in scary and uncertain economic times, the American can and should make those vacation or expatriation plans they were thinking of when the American economy took its Great Nosedive this fall. Not only can you vacation in Mexico on the cheap, if you choose Central Mexico instead of the resorts, you can also live here if you come, as they say, as an empty cup and go as native as is possible. Am I talking about the American downgrading? Yes, indeed! It can be done for as little as a $1,000 USD a month for two people. But, you've got to change your living habits.

But, that's not what this story is about.

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard Americans writing in books, websites, forums, newsletters, or in polite company how wonderfully safe living or vacationing in Mexico is, I would be a wealthy man and would be living better than I am currently in Guanajuato, Mexico. This is a true phenomenon where Americans, and how they do this I have no idea, come to Mexico to do the tourist thing or to live, and come with this Concept of Mexico that it is the safest place on earth.

This gets more than few American tourists and expats in trouble. Attacks on Americans have happened even in smaller colonial cities as the result of risky behavior like walking at three in the morning in this paradise!

The most amazing quote, which I can't currently find in my files, was a woman who made the point in an online forum that because Mexico is a predominately Catholic country that the "types of crimes you see in the States never happen here…"

Others paint a picture of touring or visiting Mexico as being next to "Heaven on Earth", a "Paradise", a "place where dreams can come true."

In websites with titles like, "Retire in Luxury", you can read statements like,

"The people of Mexico routinely treat strangers with warmth and curiosity. The people here seem to have the ability to enjoy life, be more hospitable, more respectful of their fellow man. And it's not our money that makes everyone so friendly: the people are deeply steeped in a tradition of courtesy, culture, and kindness that goes back centuries...The people are almost always willing to stop whatever they are doing to be of assistance to a friend, a neighbor or a stranger. It seems they welcome any opportunity to be helpful. Isn't that the way life should be?"

My Lord, you've just got to ask what version of history this person has been reading.

And, this hype is so prevalent you could bet the farm of hearing it in almost every conversation you have with American tourists and expats.

The illusion (delusion) is so intense that you are held as a pariah if you dare suggestion anything other than an agreement with their Concept of Mexico. Reality is rarely embraced.

The Americans who live in Mexico: "...re-cycle the same misinformation, collectively support an illusion. There is always a gushy idealist, who won't hear one negative word about Mexico, rhapsodizing about how wonderful it all is - as indeed it is. People always resist having their illusions punctured."

The same information is always how wonderful it all is, how the crime we see in the States can't possibly happen here, and that life is just one big Fantasy Island where your wildest imaginations can and do come true. I've talked with Gringos who actually say things like, "Just another day in paradise."

Well, Mexico is not a paradise -

5-year-old boy in Mexico kidnapped, killed with acid injected into his heart

The Associated Press

Thursday, Nov 6, 2008
Posted on Tue, Nov. 04, 2008

MEXICO CITY — "Kidnappers grabbed a 5-year-old boy from a gritty Mexico City street market, then killed him by injecting acid into his heart — a new low even for Mexico’s brutal kidnapping gangs. The boy, Javier Morena, was the oldest son of a poor family that sold fruit at a market in the tough neighborhood of Iztapalapa, proof that the plague of kidnappings for ransom afflicts the working class as well as the wealthy."

Before the parents could have the chance to pay the ransom, before the kidnappers demanded it, actually, they killed this child.

I can hear the protestation now:

"But, that's in Mexico City!"

Don't you think there had to be a time when the citizens of Mexico City would not have believed something like this could happen in their city?

When the Michoacan Independence Day Terrorism happened, we went around to the merchants of Guanajuato in the area called Embajadora and asked what they thought of the attack on that fateful night. Everyone we asked said it "could never happen in the city of Guanajuato."

Every single one we interviewed lamented with us this horrid and tragic act of terrorism and yet none could believe it could happen "here". The truth pops bubbles, doesn't it? Read about Crime in Guanajuato.

Recently, in the even small city in the State of Guanajuato, Dolores Hidalgo, members of the Narco-Traffic band, La Familia, was caught and arrested for trying to extort "protection money" from local merchants. The same scene occurred in the city of Guanajuato in the Embajadora area just a couple of weeks ago. Some merchants decided to resist and inform the police. The scariest thing is history (and American action movies) is full of news stories of what the bad guys demanding "protection money" do to those who don't ante up to their evil demands.

The recent Cervantino Festival and the massive presence of army and federal police was a good example of "someone" believing being proactive is better that reacting to a possible attack.

So, why is Mexico still a good deal for touring or living here?

Choice. Don't choose the areas of Mexico to visit that would be spectacular targets for Narco-Terrorists to send a message to Mexico's (and the U.S.'s) government.

There are places to see and to scope out that are not a particular target and would be a waste of resources and effort to attack (Zacatecas, Saltillo, San Luis Potosi).

Just think of cities in the States that foreigners could judge all of America for as dangerous and not safe to visit. A dozen or so cities in America I would advise foreigners not to visit but other's I would highly recommend. But the potential foreign visitor to America has got to do their homework.

And, that's all I am saying. Be smart. Read the News! Ask around on forums. Confirm everything before launching your Mexican vacation or expat adventure. Avoid the tumultuous areas until, by God's grace, things settle down making it once again safe for Americans.

Safety? Is this a dream too? Perhaps, just maybe so!


Sources:

www.star-telegram.com/279/story/1016496.html
www.thenews.com.mx/home/tnportada_v.asp

Guanajuato, Mexico Tourist Season 2008

In the middle of the night when the bombing (Day of the Dead fireworks) began and I was startled awake by the consequent concussive three-foot, straight-up jump out of bed, I suddenly remembered I had forgotten to write my annual article about this year's Guanajuato Tourist Season! In case you don't know, I have been writing a special-interest article each year about the Gringo Invasion of Guanajuato. These invaders are called tourists. More specifically, these conquering travelers are commonly known in Guanajuato as Gringo Tourists. And to be even more scientific about it, Gringo is the Genus and not the breed of Tourists.

The word Genus, according to Webster means, "a class, kind, or group marked by common characteristics or by one common characteristic."

What I am talking about is the specific Species or Breed of Tourists taught in Tourism School or the science of Touristology called The American Gringo Tourist. To understand this better, think of the dog breed, The Great Dane. It is a domestic dog. Think also of the Chihuahua that also is a domestic dog. However, it doesn't take a genius to see the vast and magnificent difference between the two. The same goes with your ordinary Canadian, European, Australian, and Oriental Tourists. All are tourists but when you compare them with The American Gringo Tourist, the differences are, well, vast to say the least.

To simplify, think of Americans as a specific breed of tourist.

What I have done in years past is try to apply very carefully and with much forethought the scientific principles of ethnology – a science that deals with the division of human beings into races and their origins, distribution, relations, and characteristics (Thank-you Mr. Webster).

In doing so I would venture out daily into the wild and wooly wilderness of tourist traps like sidewalk cafes, boutiques, churches, park benches, and observe and record how The American Tourist acts. My results? Startling!

In past articles I would observe and record things like shrieking harpies (always females followed subserviently by obedient males) screaming in front of sidewalk cafes, "I know you speak English and are pretending you don't." This was by far the most common thing observed and recorded.

Next, I would see entire groups of this most common Breed of Gringo eating at small, out-of-the-way eateries getting so bombed on booze that entire groups of American Gringos would become falling-down drunk. There would always be someone in those groups, usually a male, who would find the brains God gave him to try and flag a cab. However, this blasted soul would soon have an American Gringo lapse and begin cursing wilding and giving the finger to each cab that passed him, already occupied with a fare, for not stopping for his "Here I am…American Tourist…HEAR ME ROAR!"

Finally, I would sit in the plazas and listen to loud bellowings come out of restaurants, "I ordered a taco!" or "You call this a taco?" or "Don't you have Taco Bell here?" It always was loud protestations about tacos.

I would make many minor observations too. Mostly these were carefully scribbled notes of how American Tourists would pitch public fits over where or what to eat, where to go next, or wailings to the point of almost swooning when they exited their hotels to discover that they could not find anyone who spoke English. Sometimes I could hear them ask one another, "Is everyone here really Mexican?"

These folks would do one of two things but never both. They would either run back to their hotels and in under three minutes come back out with packed bags to head to the airport for Puerto Vallarta, or they would join the shrieking harpies' battle cry (see above).

Well, I am happy as a peach that what I have to report for Guanajuato, Mexico's 2008 Tourist Season is none of the above.

That's right! Though it appears there were more tourists than ever, even of the American Gringo Breed, that showed up in town this year, we saw none of the behavior that spurred the naming of American Gringos as The Ugly American! Isn't that swell?

This year, the difference seems overwhelmingly to be that they hired English-Speaking Mexicans to take them by the hand all over the city. It also appears that the tour guides made a better effort than before to advertise their services and unbelievably, the American Gringos took them up on their offers to show them a good time.

Everywhere I looked I saw happy-faced American Gringos frolicking up and down the streets of Guanajuato holding hands with their bilingual tour guides and all merrily singing Canta no Llores.

Is this a good omen of many more Tourist Seasons to come? I don't know. But, as always, I will be here to watch and record from park benches, small cafes, small darkened corners in bars and grills, surreptitiously making notes for the Guanajuato Tourist Season 2009.

###

A Walk Though Mexico's Crown Jewel: A Guanajuato Travelogue, by Doug Bower, is available pre-release through Unlimited Publishing at their Website. Bookstore release is scheduled in 2009. Mr. Bower can be reached at Mexican-Living-Guanajuato.com

Why Americans Are Hated in Mexico - And the World

If you want to read a prime example of what I've been writing about for the past 5 years, Gringolandias and their impact on the countries they infect, read the following post by Jeannie Ralston at: CLICK HERE

###
This American Imperialist Princess, Jeannie Ralston, posted on her blog with The Huffington Post on September 29, 2008 that she had planned a vacation outside her Gringolandia, San Miguel de Allende, where she would be forced to interface with Mexicans outside her Gringo Bubble with her family on one of the U.S. Presidential Debates and thought she would miss watching the debate. Just read some of her prose...

"At first I thought I wouldn't be able to watch Friday's debate at all. But as it turned out, I felt as if I watched it with the whole world.

By the time I realized the date of the first debate, my family and I had already planned to spend the weekend with two other families at a remote hot springs resort about three hours from our home in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. I had been to the gorgeous resort once before and it was so isolated up in a canyon that I didn't remember seeing even a telephone.

Imagine my pleasant surprise when I arrived on Friday to find a wading-pool-sized satellite dish, which was connected to a TV in the restaurant. Now came the task of convincing the management to switch it to CNN International for the debate.

This is just one of thousands of events that San Miguel de Allende Gringolandians go through in their culture bubbles. If anything at all threatens to severe the umbilical cord to the U.S. they all but fall apart or they get nasty and they whip out the money. Here's more:

"There's a special futbol report on tonight," the manager told me. Going up against anything soccer-related in Mexico was about as futile as programming an embroidery competition against "American Idol."

"Well, this is really important, this debate," I said. "Actually this election will affect everyone here. Everyone in Mexico. It'll be important for people to watch."

"Yes, but we don't get to vote," he responded. "I think we should be able to vote too."

"Really, he's right," my friend, a New Zealander, turned to me and said. "The whole world should get to vote on the U.S. president, since we all have to deal with the fallout of anything he does."

She wasn't helping my cause. "Please," I said to the manager. "We'll be here eating dinner. We'll leave a big tip."

Finally the manager relented. "All right, all right." He waved me off, then added, "You know you've got some big problems up there right now." Being told by a Mexican that your country has big problems is an irony as rich as chocolate cheesecake -- without any of the sweetness.

I can't begin to tell you how many of these stories I've heard from the mouth of Mexicans through the years telling me why they Hate Gringos. The sheer arrogance of this woman is so vile the bitter gall can almost be tasted from her prose.

The gall, the American Imperialistic Arrogance to tell the Mexican:

"Well, this is really important, this debate," I said. "Actually this election will affect everyone here. Everyone in Mexico. It'll be important for people to watch."

Then...then the woman resorts to that which Gringolandians do (and worship) when they can't interface with the real Mexican world: SHE RESORTS TO MONEY.

She promised a huge tip would be forthcoming if the manager would inconvenience and insult Mexicans and their culture by giving in to her demands to watch the Presidential Debates.

This is exactly why I write what I do. The insatiable desire of Americans to rule, to take over, to conquer, to disrespect the cultures into which they infect themselves.

This is a perfect example of American Imperialism. It is disgusting, it is cultural pollution, it is morally defiling.

American Imperialists have a lot to answer for in the ruination of San Miguel de Allende, if you ask me!

Don't forget it!